All’s fair in love, war and tea

Escape the Viking Funeral Boat

The episode in which Mike and Laura find themselves in the midst of a splashy splashy burney death zone, and Mike gets to fulfil a lifelong ambition.

• Has Mike unlocked the secrets of successful communism?
• Has Jamie finally managed to stump Laura's lightning-fast puzzling prowess?
• And just what is a coffee knocker anyway?

Here are the details of the Viking compass and coasters, if you fancy playing along yourself.

Skål!

PS I've taken some liberties with Norse mythology for the sake of the puzzle. If you want a primer on some Norse myths, and like your tunes on the heavier side, I recommend listening to the track Emblas Saga by Brotherhood of Metal. It's pretty wild.

If you have a suggestion for a future episode theme, be sure to give us a shout on Twitter or Facebook. And if you're interesting in supporting the podcast, head on over to our Patreon for some tasty bonuses.

The Quest - Part 4: Cool halflings don’t look at explosions

It's the final part of our Quest special! If you haven't listened to the rest then hold your horses, nip back to part 1 and we'll see you in a while.

Join our roving band of breakfasting adventures as they find the final puzzle piece of Enaria's secrets, and offend a local religion with their dice rolls and use of magical incendiaries. If you'd like to solve the big puzzle along with us, then check out this map of the city. Alternatively, if your day to day life already involves too much brain churning thought then you can skip ahead to the solution.

Ben is Forquare Quendien - A halfling wizard, and mute war crime in a seven year old's dress-up robe.

Bailey is Bailinator Jones - A half orc fighter, roller of diabolical dice and yorping standup comedian.

Jamie plays Luck, Stuck and Bugger - A trio of goblin spies in a trenchcoat, and the bane of park caretakers everywhere.

Mike plays Clam Strumlington, an oversexed and underbrained shapeshifting bard. Has moved on from horny animals to ones with big trunks for sucking, and beaks for beaking.

And Tony is our guide, leading us through the adventure, and starving for a curry.

You can find out more about the gang via our character sheets, including blurbs, abilities and inventories.

If you like what we've been doing here then check our our Patreon, or hit us up on the Twitters or the Facebook.  We hope you enjoyed the special - back to regular TIER stuff next week!

The Quest - Part 3: Don’t make me run, I’m full of chocolate

It's part 3 of our 4 part Quest special! Join our band of merry adventurers as they conduct a little light tomb desecration, Dieter invocation and snoozy brunching! If you haven't listened to part 1 and part 2 yet then quick, go back - give them a listen!

Ben is Forquare Quendien - A halfling wizard. He doesn't say much, which on reflection is an interesting choice of character trait for a podcast.

Bailey is Bailinator Jones - A half orc fighter. She's glam, she's disco, and she's itching to smack something with an axe. Standard Swansea night out.

Jamie plays Luck, Stuck and Bugger - A trio of goblin spies in a trenchcoat. We wish you could see the webcam pantomime we were witness to as Jamie mimed having three sets of stacked hands. It was poetry.

Mike plays Clam Strumlington, an oversexed and underbrained shapeshifting bard. He's got a list of horny animals he wants to transform in to, and a sound effects board.

And Tony is our guide, and does a smashing impression of a ten year old German exchange student.

If you're mega smart want to solve the puzzle before us, here's a cheeky map of the city of Enaria. You can also peruse our character sheets from the campaign, including blurbs, abilities and inventories.

And as ever, you can check our our Patreon, or hit us up on the Twitters or the Facebook.  

The Quest - Part 2: Moose in a china shop

This is part 2 of our 4 part adventure, using the Quest RPG system, where the gang find themselves causing chaos in, and below a magical department store while searching for a mysterious token...

Ben is Forquare Quendien - A halfling wizard. Last time, he exploded a blob. He can use magic strike, kindle, blink and other abilities. he's armed with a staff, a dagger a longsword and a Fray Bentos tinned tent. He's doesn't say much, but his magical violence does the speaking for him.

Bailey is Bailinator Jones - A half orc fighter. Last time, she got blob on her axe and now it smells. She Can use counterattack, wild attack, provoke and other abilities. She's armed with a double-headed axe, a longsword, some Swansea knuckledusters, and some kiln gauze. Last year this orc saw the pork.

Jamie plays Luck, Stuck and Bugger - A trio of goblin spies in a trenchcoat. Last time, the wrestled with a multiple identity crisis. They can use sneak attack, poison, disguise and spyglasses, and are armed with a scimitar, a club, a dagger and some lockpicks. They have the look of someone underage trying to get in to the cinema.

Mike plays Clam Strumlington, an oversexed and underbrained shapeshifting bard. Last time, he turned in to a goat long enough to perch on a wall. Can use Shapeshift, Wild Aspect and Gills as well as other skills.  Armed with a Rapier, a Battle Lute and a Dagger. Also have a magical flask of Brandy. Clam is the party's resident goon.

And Tony is our guide, leading us through the adventure, and painting the world around us with his colourful command of accents.

If you're frothing with immersedness and want to solve the puzzle before us, here's a cheeky map of the city of Enaria.

You can also peruse our character sheets from the campaign, including blurbs, abilities and inventories.

And as always, check our our Patreon, or hit us up on the Twitters or the Facebook.  Love ya x 

The Quest - Part 1: Crack it like a crème brulee

This is part 1 of a 4 part special! Oh boy oh boy oh boy - we have wanted to run another one of these ever since we did our first D&D miniseries. This time, we're using the Quest RPG system, and we've got to say we absolutely love it. 

Tony guides Me, Ben, Bailey and Jamie through a fantastic adventure, filled with quirky powers, great puzzles, daft gadgets and dodgily accented characters.

We recorded this in one big 6 hour session - with Tony putting in some nice chapter points for us to break the episodes up. Should we have called it chapters rather than parts? Yes. Bugger. Oh well.

In part 1 we find ourselves transported once more to a magical world, and in to the bodies of our characters:

Ben is Forquare Quendien - A halfling wizard. He can use magic strike, kindle, blink and other abilities. he's armed with a staff, a dagger a longsword and a Fray Bentos tinned tent. He's doesn't say much, but his magical violence does the speaking for him.

Bailey is Bailinator Jones - A half orc fighter. She Can use counterattack, wild attack, provoke and other abilities. She's armed with a double-headed axe, a longsword, some Swansea knuckledusters, and some kiln gauze. Last year this orc saw the pork.

Jamie plays Luck, Stuck and Bugger - A trio of goblin spies in a trenchcoat. They can use sneak attack, poison, disguise and spyglasses, and are armed with a scimitar, a club, a dagger and some lockpicks. They have the look of someone underage trying to get in to the cinema.

Mike plays Clam Strumlington, an oversexed and underbrained shapeshifting bard. Can use Shapeshift, Wild Aspect and Gills as well as other skills.  Armed with a Rapier, a Battle Lute and a Dagger. Also have a magical flask of Brandy. Clam is the party's resident goon.

You can also peruse our character sheets from the campaign, including blurbs, abilities and inventories.

The map maker we make mention of can be found here: https://watabou.itch.io/medieval-fantasy-city-generator .  And here's the map itself:

And as ever, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon, or hit us up on the Twitters or the Facebook.  You fab folk you.

Defeat Facebook, and Escape the Zuck!

This week, Dom, Anna and Laura find themselves at the behest of Mike's Mars Bar wielding Elon Musk.

In order to complete his total domination of social media, they'll need to infiltrate Facebook HQ and get the platform cancelled! But watch out for the Zuck's stinger!

Is it one of Mike's tightest puzzles? Possibly not. Did he have a lot of fun doing the voices? Yes he did.

Also Jamie cameo's in this episode in one of our most/least copyright infringing characters depending on if he's wearing a shirt. See if you can spot it.

And don't forget, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon for extra perks, or hit us up on Twitter or Facebook to wink saucily at us in 140 something characters or less.

Escape Being Boris’ Aide

Save Harambe! (feat. Step Lockyer from Enigmailed)

And if you want to get news of when Enigmailed's Kickstarter campaign for Notable remains goes live, you can sign up for updates on the campaign page.

 

And don't forget, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon for extra perks, or hit us up on Twitter or Facebook to say nice things about us.

 

 

Escape Farage’s Flat Roofed Boozer

Welcome to the Shiv and Staffy. is it just your standard dodgy estate flat roofed boozer? Or is it also the secret headquarters of internationally renowned fuckwits UKIP?

"I've just shot us all in the foot, why do our feet hurt? It's probably the fault of foreigners." ~ The wit and wisdom of Nigel Farage OBE

Join the Mike H and Sam as they unravel its secrets, and find Mike C's time travelling stabby solution to Brexit.

And as ever, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon, or hit us up on the Twitters or the Facebook.  You fab folk you.

Escape The British Museum

This week the team find themselves in the bowels of The British Museum on a very inauspicious day. Mother's day. Also the day the world ends. Apparently.

Escape the Superhero Lab

Find out in this issue of The Infinite Escape Room.

 

If you'd like to play along, you'll need this:

 

 

Heston’s Time Travelling Turkey Twizzler Caper

This week Danny, Alan and Jon try and solve Mike's frightful Heston Blumenthal time travel Turkey Twizzler puzzle, all the while uncertain as to whether something else, some deep dreadful metatask is at foot.

Spoiler, there is - but there isn't - BUT THERE IS.

Will they find the pretty much accurate secret recipe? Or will they succumb so suspicion? TIFO!

And as ever, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon, or hit us up on the Twitters or the Facebook.  You fab folk you.

Escape Narnia.

Imagine if you lived in a peaceful, snow covered country that was absolutely perfectly fine until unpleasant things started falling on it. This isn't what you think...and also, sort of is.

But, tasteful.

Aled, Mike and Annekoos try and worm their way out of Jon's horrendous snowscape...with music!

Escape the Wizard’s Sleeve

Keep your mind out of the gutter, and your imagination in Gandalf's armpit as the gang find themselves the victim of a well intentioned magical whoopsie.

• Will they listen for suspicious silences?
• Will they check themselves before the wreck themselves?
• Are hankies internationally recognised?

Tune in, find out!

Also this episode was recorded using a Zoom H2n in Alan and Bailey's lovely (if slightly echoey, sorry!) dining room.

This episode was snack sponsored by Enigmailed, who sent us some chocolate. You can support the podcast yourself by sending us snacks, or via our  Patreon.

Escape The Wacky Races

Remember Dick Dasterdly? Remember Mutley? Remember Penelope Pitstop? If any of these names mean anything to you then you were either a) a child in 1968 or b) a child after 1968 watching re-runs of a very curious little specimen of a cartoon.

This week the team hit the track in the Wacky Races. Their task is simple, make sure the race goes ahead without a hitch. Or a death. Or a crime against humanity.

Their host is Jon, so this should be easy...

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

This episode featured several sound effects used under the Creative Commons attribution licence. They can be found on freesound.org. Many thanks to...

Omar Alvarado for his cannons, found here, 

Tim.Kahn, for his crowd of Boo-ers, found here,

lonemonk, for his drag racing cars, here,

ikbenraar for his racing BMW M3s, here,

Debsound for yet more rally cars, here

and finally okieactor, for the gunshot, found here.

Thanks guys!

Escape the Snakes & Ladders

Join Aled and Mike as they slide down into a huge game that it seems Christopher Robin created under his house!

How many times will Aled ask to hear the same thing?

• Can Mike coerce over a Walkie-Talkie?
   
• Which one of them will get to the end first?
• Who is Titi?

Tune in, and find out!

 

Escape the Hundred Acre Wood!

Oh bother!

With Winnie the Pooh entering the public domain in 2022, Jamie takes Mike and Laura through a little stroll through the Hundred Acre Wood. Can they make it out before the House of Mouse comes a-stomping through the trees?

Cue a very sticky bed, a gratuitous Winnie the Pooh impression, and many BEEEEEES.

This one was a little shorter than expected -  Mike and Laura did incredibly well. Note to self: make puzzles harder when playing with sober solvers.

’Escape the murderer, choo choo!’ said Thomas

Thomas is a very helpful engine. Can he help the gang solve a grisly murder within his carriage innards?

Join Ben, Jamie and Bailey as they burn, kick, rob and molest their way through Mike's frightful puzzle.

If you're playing along at home, you'll need something from Rupert's carriage. Here it is:

And as ever, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon, or hit us up on the Twitters or the Facebook.  You good eggs you.

Escape blended pigs uterus at the Speakeasy

Escape cool Jazz, AND NOTHING ELSE at our hip and groovy speakeasy, presented by Mike.

Marvel as Danny, Katie and Jamie help make this one of our filthiest, most distracted introductions to date, before creaming through the puzzle like a Strawberry Glamshake going through a digestive system.

If you want to play along at home, here's a wee drinks menu:

• Old fashioned £4.99
• Singapore sling £6.21
• Martini £2.25
• Sex on the beach £7.45
• Bramble £4.45
• Strawberry Glamshake £1.00
• Moscow mule £3.30
• Long island iced tea £4.55
• Mojito £3.05
• Pina Colada £3.99

Also thanks for all the dinners mum, despite the courgettes.

And as ever, if you enjoy the episode, why not chuck us a quid via Patreon, or hit us up on the Twitters or the Facebook.  We'll love you for it. Yes we will.