Feel The Pump

Ho ho ho! It's that magical time of year where a severed head seeks brutal vengeance for a supplanted god of the winter solstice! Plus jolly old Santa! And Sherry!
It's absolutely not a bleak pagan nightmare. It's a Christmas special. Honest!
This one is hosted by pagan fertility enthusiast Dom, and solved by those cheerful innocent wee boys Mike, Ben and Jamie.
Here's the images you'll need if you want to play along at home:
Clearing
 
Lock
Note

aka Escape Santa's Workshop
This week's episode is made possible by our wonderful Patrons, including Jade Shaw and Dave LeCompte
This week Tony and Chris attempt to kickstart Christmas with the help of a surly elf, some non-existent cocoa beans and the Naughtiest Boy On Earth.
Can they get Santa's Workshop up and running again before The Fat Man himself returns from seal clubbing pilates?
Tune in and see how they got on!
And as always, please reach out to us on Facebook and Twitter to tell us how nice we are.

This week, Mike, Jon Jamie are turned from monkeys to monks by a Dom's monasterial machinations!
It's an absolute belter - and if you want to play along at home, here's the image assets you'll need...
Portraits
 
Grid
 
Mysterious rune
 
Awesome runic number system
 

aka Defeat MechaTrump
This week's episode is made possible by our wonderful Patreons, including Tonje Beate Halvorsen and Ryann Sparrow
This week Mike, Laura and Aled finish what they started all those weeks ago and come together to defeat the Trump Bot before he gets to Mars-A-Lago.
QUIVER with horror at Trump's synthetic neck flap
BE AMAZED at Laura's quick puzzling skills
YELL AT YOUR PHONE when you realise your memory is better than theirs was
Tune in and see how they got on!
And as always, please reach out to us on Facebook and Twitter (we're not like, officially verified, but we basically are).

aka Escape Cape Canaveral
This week's episode is made possible by our wonderful Patreons, including Colin Walker, Charlotte Knowles, and Jen McPhilimy. 
This week Mike, Laura and Aled go where no monkey has gone before on a special mission to space, where we'll ponder such questions as:
Has Jamie overestimated their cleverness?
Does banana bread cook faster in space?
And just how useful is a butt flap on a space suit?
Tune in and find out!If you'd like to hear the unedited version of this episode, consider joining our Arch-Duke of Charitable Excellence tier! Here you'll also get access to the episode script, including puzzle commentary and scratch notes. There'll also be a cheeky bonus episode coming soon to go along with this episode.
And as always, please reach out to us on Facebook and Twitter. And if you want access to exclusive bonus material as well as early access to episodes, consider joining our Patreon for as little as £1 a month.

aka Escape the Tea Shop at the Edge of the Universe
This week, Mike is joined by Brandon and Cici from ESCAPETHEROOMers to serve afternoon tea to a trio of pissed off Monoliths from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
BE AMAZED as Brandon and Cici sweep the room with expert flair.
NOD WITH BRITISH PRIDE as Mike discusses the age-old war between Devon and Cornwall scones.
SHAKE YOUR HEAD DISAPPROVINGLY as Jamie forgets how cakes work and desperately tries to backpedal mid-puzzle.
Don't forget to pay a visit to ESCAPETHEROOMers and tune in to their Behind the Mastermind series. You can also check them out at Facebook and Twitter.
If you're keen to understand some of the in-jokes and want even more banter, consider joining our Patreon for full, unedited episodes, episode scripts and more!
And as always, please reach out to us on Facebook, Twitter and on Discord (exclusive to our fabulous Patreons!)

aka Escape the TIER Backrooms
This week, Ben and Aled are guided by a rather sinister Clippy to get meta and reboot the universe.
MARVEL as Aled tries to destroy your livers with the Red Herring drinking game!
RECOIL as Ben extols the virtues of Ribena with milk!
SYMPATHISE with Jamie's withering patience as Aled tries to brute force a 5-letter word lock by naming every object he sees!
If you're keen to understand some of the in-jokes and want even more banter, consider joining our Patreon for full, unedited episodes, episode scripts and more!
And as always, please reach out to us on Facebook, Twitter and now on Discord (exclusive to our fabulous Patreons!)

It's been really, really hot in the UK recently.
This episode happened. It's a good one.
Join the Ben and the Jamie.
They escape Mike's hot little location.
At one point a man sweats out his guts. Here's what it looks like:
Send 99p flakes.